Names From a Hat: Odd Harry Potter Pairings
by Una Trompeta Con Nadie
Summary: We were very, very bored, so we... pulled names out of a hat! All the pairings you see here were LITERALLY pulled out of a hat! Please R&R!
1. Millicent and Kreacher

**Names From a Hat- Odd Harry Potter Pairings**

**By The Two Trumpeteers**

**Chapter One – Millicent and Kreacher**

A/N: We were having fun with the thesaurus in this chapter.  This is the first in a series of… ::stops to count on their fingers:: many, MANY chapters, each with a different pairing drawn from a hat.  Flames accepted, but not appreciated. We post this for our own enjoyment and amusement, so we don't care if you don't like it.  Now PLEASE be a good sport and review, and, umm, have fun?  Nah, that didn't sound right… Ummm, best wishes?  Nopsie!  Happy Christmas!  Yeah, that's it!  Just read!

**K**reacher the house-elf stared into his deceased master's old mirror, which he had stolen earlier that day.  There was longing in his heart, oh yes.  But for what?  His masters, Mr. and Mrs. Black, had been gone for so long… the missus' portrait still remained, but it wouldn't suffice.

          His heart screamed in agony as he dusted off the dresser in the room where that mudblood-loving scum's son and that Potter boy were staying.  And a picture caught his eye.

          Students.  Children.  Filthy little brats, all waving and smiling.  But one caught his eye.  She had dark hair and a mediocre face, but his heart soared.  He fingered the picture and thought/murmured, "S_omeday you will be mine."_

***

          **M**illicent Bulstrode looked at her sullen features in the girls' lavatory and sighed.  Her looks did nothing to get the attention of the person she really wanted: Vincent Crabbe.

          Ever since she saw Vinny's (as she had been known to call him to herself) fist smack into his palm on the first day of school, Millicent knew she would never be the same.  Of course, there was still the matter of getting Crabbe to notice her.  Then, suddenly, she looked at something that was crumpled in her robes.

          It was from that mudblood girl she had cornered in Professor Umbridge's office the year before (she hadn't worn the robes since).  It was a moving picture of a scowling, old house elf.  She didn't get a perfect projection, but what she did see was congenial.  _He's hot_, Millicent thought to herself.  _He'll get Vinny jealous, that's for sure._

          Humming absentmindedly to herself, she forgot completely about washing her hands, as she had set out to do, Millicent held the picture of her newfound helper close to her chest, and walked out of the bathroom.

***

          **K**reacher crawled into his little nook back at the House of Black.   He threw off the colorful patchwork quilt that had turned up there the previous Christmas- _Mudblood germs!- and hugged the picture that he had stolen from the Potter boy, inserted a knobbly thumb into his mouth, and fell asleep._

          He had very odd dreams.   That sullen-faced, raven-haired girl was there.  They were flying.  Flying.  _Flyinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!_

          The old elf snapped awake.  He had to find her.  She was haunting him.  He had not felt love such as this since- well, he had never really felt emotion towards anyone except his masters.  "_I will ask the Mistress's permission_," he thought/said decisively.  And this was sort of a miracle, because house-elves very seldom think decisively, but anyway.  "_I **WILL FIND HER!  I LOVE HER!  SHE WILL BE **MINE!**"**_

          He crept out of bed and set off towards the Mistress's portrait.  "_She will understand," he thought/muttered.  Slowly and silently, he drew back the curtains.  "Mistressssssssssssssss," he hissed.  "Old Kreacher has come, old Kreacher has a question, yes he does."_

          He half expected her to screech and wail, but instead, she fixed a surprisingly level gaze on him.  Or, rather, a surprisingly level gaze on the spot some three feet to the right of him.  "What would that be, my most loyal?  You haven't been to see me in so long, and yet you have remained faithful.  Anything, you must ask me, dear elf, and I will grant it to you."

          "Oh, _Mistress," said Kreacher, and felt tears coming to his moldy eyes.  "I have found, my mistress, my one true love!  She is beautiful and cunning and wise!  Kreacher is thinking she could share my den."  He brandished the picture in front of her portrait._

          "My, she is a pretty one, though not as lovely as I," said Mrs. Black, drawing herself up.  "Well, if you would like to go find her, as long as you return, whether with or without her, you go with my blessing."

          The tears in Kreacher's decaying eyes spilled over.  "Oh, _Mistress!  I knew you would understand, I'll bring her back, yes I will, and most promptly!"  And with that, he snapped his fingers twice and was gone._

***

          **M**illicent grabbed her nightie and was about to put it on when she looked down at herself.  She had been in the kitchens all night, trying to see if any of the house-elves matched her pictures, to no avail.  She had slumped up the stairs to go to bed when she realized just now: she had a half of a day of classes left and she hadn't had lunch (A/N: Mike moment! LOL!).

          She heaved a sigh and trudged back down the stairs.  She headed over to the portrait of the bowl of fruit next to the Slytherin common room.  She tickled the pear and entered.

          "I want something to eat!" She demanded, but her breath caught in her throat.  There was the house elf that was in her picture.  He wasn't exactly as congenial as she saw in the photo, though.  His eyes were strangely festering, and his skin seemed to be some sort of brown rubber.  He looked at her and smiled, but it was a strange smile.  For one thing, his teeth seemed to be growing at least ten species of fungi.  For another, they all seemed to be rotting and at the brink of falling out.  _Bad for kissing, she thought._

          "Hello, beautiful miss.  I am Kreacher the house elf, servant to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.  Kreacher saw your striking features in a photograph, yes he did, and had to come see if you really were as eye-catching as you looked."

          Millicent was taken aback.  Absolutely speechless, in fact.  She saw past the nauseating features.  She actually found them quite attractive.  _I won't be dating him as a toy.  I will date him, and really__ date him. _

          With that she leaned down, planted a kiss on his forehead, and walked out of the kitchens, not hungry anymore.

***

          **K**reacher never went home.

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A/N: Like it?  Review!  Hate it? Heck, we don't care!  When this is complete (i.e. when we've used up all the names in our hat), we'll ask you for more pairings!  ANY pairings go in this fanfic!  ^ - ^  Thanks for reading!  Happy New Year!

                                                                             -- Maddie and Juli, the Two Trumpeteers


	2. Dennis and Trelawney

**Names From a Hat- Odd Harry Potter Pairings**

**By The Two Trumpeteers**

**Chapter Two – Dennis and Trelawney**

        **Professor Trelawney sat in her heavily perfumed classroom, gazed into her crystal orb, and exhaled noisily.  She did not like what she was seeing, no, not at all.  How could the fates do this to her?  For so many years, she had wound her own path.  Now they were telling her that there had to be someone else.**

          She sighed again and arose from her pouf.  It was time for her first lesson of the year: a double period with the third-year Gryffindors.  She smiled a little bit, wondering who would be the one to die.

          The vertically challenged (A/N: AHEM! ::cough, hack:: JULI ::hack, cough::) students shuffled into various armchairs and loungers around the room.  Professor Trelawney mentally organized what she was going to say, and began: "Hello, third-years, and welcome to Divination.  This classroom is where your lives will unveil before you, as you ascertain your worst fears, discover hidden secrets of your past, and discern your future." At this, several students shivered.  She knew it didn't sound too pleasant, but the future was not always a pleasant thing, and she had decided long ago that it was best to tell students the truth.

          "My name is Sybil Trelawney, and I am your Divination teacher.  Now, I trust that all of you have a copy of _Unfogging the Future_?"  Various nods and murmurs.  "Excellent.  This book shall be your guide throughout the year.  It will help you grasp your footing in this shrouded ground, and it will help you journey through it.  Now, if you would all turn to page six…."

          Ruffling sounds filled the crowded room as the students followed that direction.  Sybil smiled.  The beginning of another year.

***

           "**W**e will begin with reading the tea leaves," Professor Trelawney murmured.  Dennis looked up at the teacher, a drop of sweat rolling down his neck.  It made him shiver, despite the stiflingly hot room.  "Everyone head towards the shelf of pink china cups, and kindly take one.  Please do not break them, I'm rather attached."  

Everyone motioned towards where she was gesturing and grabbed a cup.  Dennis waited patiently for Trelawney to come around with the teapot.  She poured a cup for him and whisked over to the next table.  Dennis drank the tea quickly, as instructed, and felt rather sorry at the end; it was a good tea, and he had always somewhat liked tea time.  He turned the cup over onto its saucer and waited for about a minute or so.

Picking up the cup, Dennis flipped through the book while trying to determine the shapes that were displayed.

          "That's an umbrella, so that means, er, we'll have lots of rain, or that I'll have to have an extra lesson with Hagrid, although that isn't so bad…"  He turned the cup to a different angle.  "Now it's an upside-down umbrella!"  He sniggered to himself at his little joke.  Trying to pull himself together, he had a stab at verifying the next figure in the dregs of the tea.  "That… Er, I think it's a, erm, poltergeist, oh no, that means I'd better watch out for Peeves…  Oh, this makes no sense!"

***

          **P**rofessor Trelawney walked about the room, surveying the students' work.  

          The majority of the students were deciphering their tea leaves with gusto, but one student, small, bland-haired Dennis Creevey, was having problems with the assignment.  Then, she had a strange vision, but it was too late.  The school poltergeist, Peeves, chucked an upside-down umbrella through the open window of Professor Trelawney's classroom, hitting little Dennis Creevey right in the head!

          "Oh, my goodness!" cried Professor Trelawney, swooping down on Dennis like the scary oversized bat that she was.  "Dennis- oh dear, Dennis!  Are you alright?"

          Then a strange thing happened as Dennis locked eyes with his Professor.  He felt… _happy_.  And a strange sensation came over Sybil at the exact same moment.  _Oh, FATES!  Her soul cried out joyfully.  __You have never failed me yet!  And she planted a gentle smooch on Dennis's nose._

          Dennis was so happy.  _My one true love_, he thought happily, and seized her in a kiss.  The rest of the class, rather taken aback, filed down the ladder and to lunch, even though most of them, by then, had rather lost their appetites.

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AN: Review, review, review!  Hopefully positively.  More fun with the thesaurus in this chapter.  :D  Next chapter will be up soon!  NOTE: This may include slash in later chapters, because we just draw names out of a hat and there are (obviously) more boys than girls in HP.  However, don't be afraid.  We're straight.  Merry Easter!

                                                                             --Maddie and Juli, the thesaurus-loving freaks!!!


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